Shawn Mendes reveals how gay rumours are taking a huge toll on him
"I felt sick."
Being one of the world's most popular pop stars who is adored and scrutinised by millions undoubtedly comes with its share of pressures and stresses.
For Shawn Mendes, one of the toughest things he has had to face isn't drugs or going off the rails in a stereotypical rockstar way.
It is all the gay rumours that have dogged him over the last few years.
In a new cover piece in December's issue of Rolling Stone, the singer revealed the constant stress he has had to deal with over the last five years in regards to his sexuality, saying that the "need" to dispel all the gay rumours is taking a toll on him.
“In the back of my heart, I feel like I need to go be seen with someone — like a girl — in public, to prove to people that I’m not gay.
“Even though in my heart I know that it’s not a bad thing. There’s still a piece of me that thinks that. And I hate that side of me.”
This isn't the first time Shawn has directly addressed rumours of his sexuality.
Last Christmas, the singer hit breaking point after reading YouTube comments about his sexuality and recorded a Snapchat story denying he is gay.
“I noticed a lot of people were saying I gave them a ‘gay vibe.’ First of all, I’m not gay. Second of all, it shouldn’t make a difference if I was or wasn’t.”
But despite denying all the rumours, Shawn's Snapchat video only served to keep the conversation going and it has had a lasting effect on him.
Mentioning about a recent text he got from Taylor Swift, whom he has been friends with since he was 16, the singer says she was asking him if it was cool to post a video of the pair together.
After telling Taylor he was cool with her posting the clip - it was of her putting glittery eye makeup on his face while backstage during her Reputation tour - Shawn revealed that he later woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat.
“I felt sick. I was like, ‘F**k, why did I let her post that?’ I just fed the fire that I’m terrified of.”
But it appears that the singer is coming to terms with who he is and he is learning to accept it:
"Maybe I am a little more feminine — but that’s the way it is. That’s why I am me.”
Image: Shawn Mendes/Instagram
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