Amanda Bynes reveals drug problems behind hard times in new interview
Step aside Kim Kardashian.
Amanda Bynes has seen your #breaktheinternet and raised you one.
The She's The Man star, who has fallen on hard times for the last few years, has taken to the cover of Paper Magazine's 'Break The Internet' edition and... boy has she though.
Amanda explained to Paper that it was her role in the 2006 comedy, She's The Man where things started to go downhill.
"When the movie came out and I saw it, I went into a deep depression for 4-6 months because I didn't like how I looked when I was a boy. I've never told anyone that," she told the publication, adding that seeing herself with short hair and sideburns was "a super strange and out-of-body experience" and "just really put me into a funk."
It was from then on that Amanda reportedly became progressively obsessed with her experience.
She told the publication she visited a psychiatrist and faked the symptoms of ADD to be prescribed Adderall after reading that it was the "new skinny pill," with possible side effects including decreased appetite and weight loss.
"They [a magazine] were talking about how women were taking it to stay thin. I was like, 'Well, I have to get my hands on that.'"
"When I was doing Hall Pass, I remember being in the trailer and I used to chew the Adderall tablets because I thought they made me [higher that way]. I remember chewing on a bunch of them and literally being scatterbrained and not being able to focus on my lines," she confessed.
"Or memorize them, for that matter."
She went on to say she was "literally tripping out," on the movie set and, thinking her arm "looked so fat" fled the set, quitting the film.
"I did leave," she explained, adding that she was not fired.
"It was definitely completely unprofessional of me to walk off and leave them stranded when they'd spent so much money on a set and crew and camera equipment and everything."
Amanda told the publication how she was hired for Emma Stone's Easy A but things did not improve:
"I literally couldn't stand my appearance in that movie and I didn't like my performance. I was absolutely convinced I needed to stop acting after seeing it. I was high on marijuana when I saw that but for some reason it really started to affect me," she confessed.
"I don't know if it was a drug-induced psychosis or what, but it affected my brain in a different way than it affects other people. It absolutely changed my perception of things."
After retiring via Twitter at just 24, Amanda, who "never liked the taste of alcohol," revealed she began experimenting with drugs like cocaine and ecstasy. "[I tried] cocaine three times but I never got high from cocaine. I never liked it. It was never my drug of choice."
"I had a lot of time on my hands and I would 'wake and bake' and literally be stoned all day long," she added, explaining she began "hanging out with a seedier crowd" and isolated herself from loved ones.
"I got really into my drug usage... and it became a really dark, sad world for me."
"I'm really ashamed and embarrassed with the things I said. I can't turn back time but if I could, I would. And I'm so sorry to whoever I hurt and whoever I lied about because it truly eats away at me. It makes me feel so horrible and sick to my stomach and sad," she says.
"Everything I worked my whole life to achieve, I kind of ruined it all through Twitter..."
Amanda also explained that she understood why there was so much speculation around her conditon:
"If you deny anything and tell them what it actually is, they don't believe you. Truly, for me, [my behavior] was drug-induced, and whenever I got off of [drugs], I was always back to normal."
It's not all bad news though.
Amanda is officially celebrating "almost four years sober," thanks to her parents' loving support and plans to continue her education at L.A.'s Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising.
If you or someone you know is affected by drug use/abuse help is available.